Self-control, childhood and lifestyle
A child of seven years old sits at the piano seven hours a week. After seven years he plays Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 7. What does this remarkable achievement have to do with self-control?
It is generally understood to be the ability to suppress the primary instincts, desires and inclinations through a technique in order to achieve a certain mental or physical performance. The virtue of playing the piano is the reward for a long wait, which is often painful, since waiting is contrary to the inclination of the child's will. Often self-control involves renouncing short-term pleasures. This is then a delay of the present pleasure, which the child sometimes interprets as a punishment, especially with negative reinforcement. The result of enjoying a later and long-term pleasure is a rational motive, which can be incomprehensible to children and contrary to nature. The will of the child tries to satisfy its own wishes here and now. The postponement of these by the parents can therefore often end in frustration. Therefore, parents should reward children promptly and materially for small successes on the path to virtue. This virtuous achievement is called in the western as well as in Asian countries as a consequence of the uninterrupted auto discipline. What does self-control mean then?
In summary, self-control means a delay of the present pleasure. Of course, self-control can be observed and used to varying degrees, but its meaning does not vary. Washing hands before eating, waiting until everyone is at the table to start eating, or brushing teeth after eating before going to bed are everyday examples of self-control that children learn from their parents. In these simple examples, children learn to control their primary instincts, i.e. to delay satisfaction with eating or sleeping: I suppose I have exercised enough self-control in this sense to develop the life I desire. However, I now realize that I also gave up practicing certain skills such as playing the piano or painting when I was bored or had other desires or saw no development in learning. In this sense, I would have liked to continue this work in order to further develop my talents.